Editor’s note: The following blog series is by author and speaker Lisa Earle McLeod
Humans are complicated. We have physical fears, like being afraid of fire ants or going bungee jumping. We may over exaggerate these fears, but they’re based on a semi logical understanding of risks.
But then there are our emotional fears; this is where logic leaves the party. Emotional fears are usually based on subconscious beliefs created by past experiences that have absolutely no bearing on our present circumstances.
It’s our emotional fears that hold us back from accomplishing things, and enjoying life to the fullest.
The following is another common self-limiting fear, and suggestions for overcoming it:
Big Fear # 2: They won’t like me anymore
We all have our own mental templates for what we believe is “likeable” behavior. For example, perhaps you were raised believing that it’s “not nice” to brag or bring attention to yourself. The old mental model can stifle you. The behavior that you’ve deemed unlikeable may be the very behavior you need to embrace. Grandiose bragging may be boring, but being proactive about describing your wins is essential to professional success. It also makes you happy. Success is in the nuance.
Better living strategy: Next time you’re afraid to go for it, ask yourself: What’s the worst-case scenario here? Do people really judge my behavior as harshly as I think they do? And what if they don’t like the real me? Will I keel over and die, or can I move on? The range of likeable behaviors isn’t as narrow as we think it is. Plus, most people are so wrapped up in their own insecurities that they aren’t spending a whole lot of time judging you.
Lisa Earle McLeod is a sales leadership consultant, and author of Selling with Noble Purpose. Companies like Apple, Kimberly-Clark and Pfizer hire her to help them create passionate, purpose-driven sales forces. She’s the author of several books including Selling with Noble Purpose: How to Drive Revenue and Do Work That Makes You Proud, a Wiley publication. She has appeared on The Today Show, and has been featured in Forbes, Fortune and The Wall Street Journal. She provides executive coaching sessions, strategy workshops, and keynote speeches. Visit www.mcleodandmore.com